Most people find death something that is uncomfortable to talk about, but knowing how to talk to children about death can be particularly difficult. If not done right, it can be a traumatic experience for both the adult and the child taking part in the conversation. You might not have considered the need to discuss death with your child, but unfortunately it is something that they will definitely have to deal with during their life. Whether your child’s first experience with death is that of a much loved pet, a grandparent sibling, parent or friend, you will still need to be prepared for the big conversation. It may be that your child hasn’t experienced the death of someone or something they love before, but they are worried about death in some way. You will still find this article useful if that’s the case for you. It can often be helpful to initiate conversation around death with your child before they experience the death of a loved one. We know it’s not easy, so before you jump in, grab a cuppa then have a read of this blog post to arm yourself with what you need to know about talking to your child about death. Before you start The first thing to remember is that death is a part of life. All living things die eventually. Plants, animals, humans… we all die. We suggest you are as honest as possible while still remaining age appropriate for the child you are speaking with. If you have the opportunity, it’s best to think about what you are going to say and how you are going to say it before the conversation takes place. Consider some of the questions your child might ask you about death and dying (we have listed some examples of questions children ask about death later in this article) and have an answer ready. How you answer may depend on your own religious beliefs if you have any. If you don’t know something, it’s okay to admit that, but above all else be sensitive to your child’s emotions during this conversation. Find a comfortable place to have this important chat with your child – somewhere that is not only physically comfortable, but also somewhere they feel safe and loved. If you have the conversation about death sprung on you, do your best to remain as relaxed as possible. While showing some emotion is fine, it isn’t the time for big displays of emotion. Take your time. Part of the reason such conversations can be so difficult is because we often avoid talking about things we find upsetting. Indeed, death is frequently a taboo subject, so if you feel like you will struggle with this conversation, practice with another adult first. Use the word ‘death’ This might sound harsh to some, but by using the word death we help to avoid confusion. Think of the different words and phrases we use to say someone has died – passed, passed away, passed … Read More
Talking about your final wishes
Whether we like it or not, one of the few certainties of life is death. Discussions around death can be uncomfortable, and talking to your friends and family about your final wishes can be a difficult and emotional conversation for all involved It doesn’t matter whether you’re healthy or suffering from a terminal illness – none of us know when our time is up. For that reason, it is important to prioritise discussing your final wishes with your family. In fact, documenting your final wishes and ensuring your loved ones are aware of those wishes is a loving gift you can leave behind when you pass away. Decide what your final wishes are You need to have a clear idea of what your final wishes are before you open the conversation with friends and family. There are many factors to take into consideration. Would you like a religious funeral in a church, or a more casual memorial? Would you like to be buried or cremated? There are many questions to take into consideration, and our free printable final wishes template can help you to map out your wishes in an easy to complete and read format. Use the completed worksheets during your discussion with your family and ensure your next of kin and at least one other person has a copy and knows where the original of both your planner and your final will and testament is stored. Taking that first step and initiating any conversation around death is difficult, but don’t worry, we’re here to help. Starting the conversation around final wishes and death One of the most important parts of discussing your final wishes with your family is how you open the conversation. We would suggest making your intentions of opening the door to this discussion clear to your friends and family – it’s best not to blindside them. Decide who you would like to be involved in the conversation, and set a time and place for this to take place. Where would those involved in the discussion feel most at ease? For some, this might mean arranging for your discussion to take place on neutral ground. For others, a meeting around the kitchen table might be the most comfortable. Ensuring everyone feels as comfortable as possible – including yourself – is important. Express to those you wish to include how important it is to you to have this conversation, as this makes it more likely for them to willingly participate. At first, you may find it easier to limit the number of people involved in the conversation and then include others later. It is important that everyone who will be involved in making arrangements after you pass away is included in the conversation at some point, as this can help to avoid conflict when the time comes. You might even like to practice the conversation around your final wishes with a friend before discussing it with your family. Remember, you don’t have to discuss everything in one … Read More