What’s it like to be a funeral director? When I tell people that I work for a funeral director, I’m always fascinated by the different responses I get. Your job is something that comes up in conversation frequently and so I have had a lot of time to ponder how people react and why. Recently I went to a new hairdresser. She asked me, “So, what do you do for a living?”. Me: “I work for a funeral director.” Her: “Oh…” There is no one typical response when you tell someone you work in the funeral business. Some people, like my new hairdresser, fall into an awkward silence before trying desperately to change the subject. Others crack jokes, some of which are actually pretty funny, and some I have heard a million times before (like working in the ‘dead centre’ of town). Other people are genuinely interested about what I do and why, while others ask questions about death and the supernatural, or what my beliefs are about what happens when we die (I try to navigate around the latter question as tactfully as possible). On the whole, people are fascinated, even if it makes them feel a bit awkward. A lot of people think that making a living out of death is a bit morbid, but honestly, most people I talk to have an immense curiosity about what it is like to be a funeral director, too. The thing is, death is a part of life. We all die. Now, I’m not a funeral director. Yes, I work for a funeral business, but I’m the marketing manager! That’s not to say that I don’t deal with the death side of the business – I do. I occasionally attend funerals, speak with grieving families, hand over the ashes of lost loved ones who have been cremated, and being involved in funeral arrangements is not out of the question if needed. Of course, I could just tell people that I work in marketing, but I find the different responses I get fascinating, and it often leads to me wondering why people are so uncomfortable with the idea of an individual or company that makes a living out of death when so many of them are curious about what it is we do. A question that we get asked a lot is how do we cope with death all day, every day? It goes without saying that working as a funeral director can be emotionally challenging, and serving small, regional communities undoubtedly plays a role in this. Everyone knows everyone else in small towns, so it’s inevitable that sometimes we will have personal relationships in some form or another with the deceased people that come into our care. There are times where we are forced to confront our own mortality, too, particularly when we are caring for someone who has died in very tragic circumstances and their loved ones. There is a flipside, though. As funeral directors, our whole team feels deeply … Read More
TANZER, Phillip Arthur
Known as “Pat” Late of Mundubbera, formerly of Monto. Passed away peacefully on Friday, 23 July 2021, aged 85 years. Much loved Husband of Judy. Father and Father-in-law of Michael and Lisa, Brett and Pam (dec’d), Russell and Claire, Leah and Alan, Glen and Tanya, Neil, David and Suzie. Loving Pop of his Grandchildren and Great Grandchildren. Brother of Kathleen, George (dec’d), Irene, Ken, Daphne, Max, Doug. Uncle and special friend of many. Pat will be privately cremated. “Forever in our hearts”
BOUGHEN, Alexander Claude
Boughen, Alexander Claude Late of Gayndah. Passed away peacefully on Sunday, 18 July 2021, aged 90 years. Dearly beloved Husband of Pam. Father and Father-in-law of Claude and Janet, Jenny and Paddy, Lea and Richard. Grandad of Charissa, Bray, Amanda, Paul, Hayley, Natalie. Cherished Great-Grandad to their children. A Friend to many. Relatives and Friends are respectfully invited to attend the Graveside Service for Alexander to be held at the Gayndah Lawn Cemetery on Friday 23 July 2021, commencing at 11am. Covid-19 restrictions will apply. Social distancing and hand sanitising is essential. The funeral service will be live streamed and anyone wishing to participate should email: admin@jenlesley.com.au “Forever in our Hearts”
The 7 stages of grief
Grief isn’t just about death. We grieve many things – the loss of a loved one, the death of a pet, relationship breakdowns and divorce, imprisonment, injury or illness, losing a job… the list goes on. In fact, the Holmes-Rahe Stress Scale details 43 life events that can cause us to grieve. Knowing what are the 7 stages of grief is useful, because everyone goes through periods of grief in life. Having an awareness of the 7 stages of grief won’t stop you from grieving in a stressful situation, but seeing as the way we grieve might not always feel like it makes sense, it might help you to understand where you’re at, and why. We all experience grief differently – you might feel scared, angry, you may cry, or you might feel none of these. While grief isn’t linear, there generally is a pattern to the process of grieving. To begin with we need to know exactly what grief is. According to the Grief Recovery Method, “Grief is the conflicting feelings caused by the end of or change in a familiar pattern of behavior.” Remember, if you’re grieving, it’s okay to feel what you are feeling, and it’s okay to reach out for help and support if you feel like you need it. You’re not alone. Scroll to the bottom of this articles for a list of places that can help you. Shock and denial This is the beginning of the grieving process. Something lifechanging has happened, be it the death of a loved, a divorce, foreclosure on your home, a change in health or something else. You might feel numb and struggle to believe what has happened. Pain and guilt This is where you might feel like the loss or change is unbearable. You might feel guilty about what has happened, or because you feel that you are a burden to others at this time. Anger and bargaining At this point you might feel angry, and lash out or have outbursts of anger. You might also bargain with god or another higher power that if they just rectify the situation, you will do anything they ask, you are desperate for them to relieve the feelings you are experiencing. Depression This can often present as a period of reflection and withdrawal. You may feel lonely and isolated. Remember, you are not alone and it’s okay to ask for help. The upward turn You may feel that you are in a calmer and more relaxed state as the feelings of pain and anger start to subside. Reconstruction and working through At this point, you will start to feel like you can begin to put the pieces of your life back together and move forward. That isn’t to say you won’t still experience moments of sadness, but you feel you can now start to put one foot in front of the other and look ahead. Acceptance and hope Acceptance is a long process, we won’t lie. There is a very gradual … Read More
Scheuber, Aileen May
Scheuber, Aileen May (nee Guymer) Fondly known to many as “Grandma”, “GG” and “Auntie A”. Late of Gayndah. Passed away peacefully on Sunday, 27 June 2021, Aged 89 years. Much loved wife of Noel (dec). Loving Mother and Mother-in-Law of Susan and Mark, Karen and Stephen and Craig and Rosemary. Adored Grandma and GG of James, Amy, Aliana, Brodie and Sam. Loving sister to Yvonne and Evelyn and Special Friend of many. Family and friends are respectfully invited to attend a celebration of Aileen’s life, to be held at St Matthew’s Anglican Church, Capper Street, Gayndah, on Saturday the 3 of July, 2021, commencing at 10am, followed by interment at the Gayndah Monumental Cemetery. Covid-19 restrictions will apply. Social distancing and hand sanitising is essential. The funeral service will be live streamed and anyone wishing to participate should email admin@jenlesley.com.au “Forever in our Hearts”
WHYTE, CATHERINE
Known as “Rena” Rena was born in 1940 in Bridgeton, Glasgow, Scotland. Daughter of David and Agnes Dempsey. Sister to Mary and her late brothers, David and Alex. Rena emigrated to Australia in 1963, originally to Melbourne, then Bundaberg. Loving Mother, sister-in-law to Hugh, loved and adored by her niece, Nancy and nephew, Joseph, and extended family. Rena was a real character, very generous and a great friend to many and loved by all who knew her. Rena sadly passed on 23rd June 2021 at the Gayndah Hospital. May her soul rest in peace. A private cremation is being held for Rena.
Most popular flowers for funerals
When you’re grieving, choosing funeral flowers can feel like a huge task that you just don’t have the energy for so we’ve put together a list of the most popular flowers for funerals to help you along the way. This article is designed to be a simple quick reference guide to funeral flowers, their meanings and the different type of arrangements that tend to be used at funerals. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us via our Facebook page or email. Types of flowers that are popular for funerals Lilies – Lilies are one of the most popular, if not the most popular, flower for funerals. This is especially so for white lilies, which symbolise sympathy, purity and innocence being restored to a departed soul. They are a very popular choice for casket sprays. Carnations – Carnations are popular choices for funeral flowers, and what they mean depends on their colour. Pink carnations are believed in the Christian faith to have been made from the tears of the Virgin Mary, and they stand for remembrance. White carnations are for purity and innocence. Red carnations stand for admiration and passion. Gladioli – Strength of character, moral integrity, honesty. Go well in a standing spray arrangement due to their size and rigid stem. .. Roses generally show love, respect, friendship and reverence. What they mean depends on their colour. White roses stand for purity, spirituality and innocence. Yellow roses signify friendship. Crimson or dark red denote grief (particularly in Christian and Muslim religions). Red and pink roses show love, appreciation and affection. Australian native flowers are appropriate for the funeral of someone who was known to be very patriotic as these flowers invoke a sense of pride in our Australian homeland. Some examples of these include Banksias, protea and leucodendron. Due to their earthy colours and hardiness, they are also popular choices for armed services veterans and those who have battled long illnesses. Chrysanthemums stand for tribute, and are associated exclusively with death, sorry and grief in many Asian and European countries. This often makes white Chrysanthemums, which are a sign of lamentation, a good funeral choice. Be aware, however, that in different parts of the world these flowers have different meanings. For example, in the USA, chrysanthemums are associated with happiness, celebration and cheerfulness. Gerberas are used to express innocence and purity. Celtic people believed that this lovely flower could ease one’s worries, making them a good choice to celebrate someone who was always optimistic about life. . When it comes to the most popular flowers for funerals, it might surprise you to find that orchids are on the list. However, florists recommend staying with lighter coloured varieties such as dendrobium and phalaenopsis orchids as purple orchids are not generally associated with mourning. Orchids, particularly pink and white coloured, express everlasting sympathy and can add an exquisite touch to an arrangement or make a beautiful and long lasting gift for a grieving family. If you would … Read More
Westland, Margaret Mary
Westland, Margaret Mary (nee Perry) Known as “Margie” Late of Biggenden, formerly of Freemans Reach, NSW. Passed away peacefully on Monday, 21 June 2021, aged 92 years. Much loved Wife of Ted (dec’d). Loving Mother of Roslyn, John, Carol, Gail, Cheryl and Wayne. Adored Nanny of her Grandchildren, Great Grandchildren and Great Great Grandchildren. Precious Aunt and Special Friend of Many. Family and friends are respectfully invited to attend a celebration of Margie’s life to be held at the Heritage Chapel, Maryborough Crematorium, Bruce Highway, Maryborough on Monday, 28 June 2021, commencing at 10:00am. Covid-19 restrictions will apply. Social distancing and hand sanitising is essential. The funeral service will be live streamed and anyone wishing to participate should email admin@jenlesley.com.au “Forever in our Hearts”
Trott, Janet Elizabeth
Trott, Janet Elizabeth (nee McLay) Late of Mundubbera. Passed away on Thursday, 17 June 2021, aged 93 years. Loving wife of Jim (dec’d). Much loved Mother and Mother-in-law of Suzanne and Bill (dec’d), Peter and Susanne, Kaylene, Mark and Alicea. Treasured Grandmother to Stacey, Dane, Rhys, Bowden, Josephine, Edina and Roanna. Family and close friends are respectfully invited to attend a funeral service for Janet to be held at St John’s Anglican Church, Mundubbera on Saturday, 26 June 2021 commencing at 11am, followed by a PRIVATE interment. Covid-19 restrictions will apply. Social distancing and hand sanitising is essential.
Song ideas for funerals
When we think of funerals, we don’t immediately jump to thinking about songs to play at funerals and celebration. Even though funerals are sad occasions, it’s important to remember that they serve the purpose of celebrating a life, and music is an inherent part of celebration. The music chosen for a loved one’s funeral plays an important role in setting the tone for the event. When choosing songs to play at funerals, there are a number of things to think about. Firstly, you should consider the preferences of the person who has passed away, and whether they had any favourite songs or had voiced any wishes about music to be played at their funeral or memorial service. If they have expressed such wishes, it’s important that these wishes are respected. The next thing to consider is what you want to achieve through your choice of songs? If your lost loved one was religious, it may be that you decide to keep the funeral music to a selection of appropriate hymns, however even these can be used to uplift, provide comfort or to give a moment of reflection depending on the choice. In our experience as funeral directors, we often find that religious families choose to mix both hymns and other songs into the service. The following is a list of songs we think are great for funerals. Some of them might not seem like songs to play at funerals, but listen to the lyrics if you are unsure and decide for yourself. These are not in any particular order and we have not categorised them. They are all great songs in their own right – some sombre, some emotional, some are uplifting and even a few humorous and quite possibly inappropriate songs in their very own list at the end. Let us know if you have anything to add! You Raise Me Up – Josh Groban Josh Groban – You Raise Me Up (Official Music Video) | Warner Vault – YouTube Take These Wings – This song is beautiful done by a pair of vocalists Take These Wings – YouTube Somewhere Over the Rainbow –OFFICIAL Somewhere over the Rainbow – Israel “IZ” Kamakawiwoʻole – YouTube Amazing Grace [OFFICIAL VIDEO] Amazing Grace – Pentatonix – YouTube What a Wonderful World – WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD. – Louie Armstrong Cover by Abby Ward – YouTube My Way – Frank Sinatra – My Way (Remastered 2008) – YouTube Supermarket Flowers Ed Sheeran – Ed Sheeran – Supermarket Flowers [Official Audio] – YouTube Halo – Beyonce – Beyoncé – Halo – YouTube Everywhere – Michele Branch Michelle Branch – Everywhere [Official Music Video] – YouTube Wherever You Will Go – The Calling The Calling – Wherever You Will Go (Official Video) – YouTube Follow the Sun – Xavier Rudd Xavier Rudd – Follow The Sun [official music video] – YouTube Spirit in the Sky – Norman Greenbaum Spirit In The Sky – YouTube I’ll See You Again – Westlife I’ll See You Again – … Read More