There are times in our lives when we want to be surrounded by the people we love – some of those days are huge, life changing days, like your wedding day, or more often they are days that happen every year, like religious celebrations, birthdays and Christmas. It’s normal to want one or both of your parents to walk you down the aisle when you get married, or to at least be at your wedding. Christmas is a time for giving, for love and for family – it’s natural to want to share in the joy of the day with those you love. When you have lost someone you love and you can’t do those things, let’s be honest – it can be really tough to deal with, and bittersweet if you’re still mourning. We’ve put together some ideas for how you can remember your lost loved ones on those special days and moments of your life. These special days can play a really important role in keeping your loved one’s memory alive. Have a think about what you want to achieve through your actions before you decide what to do. Do you want to feel as though they are there with you? Do you want to quietly reflect? Do you want to remember the good times and smile? If you’re a bride to be wishing that you had one or both of your parents to walk you down the aisle, a nice way to carry them with you can be to attach a photo of them to your bouquet or to create something wearable. You might choose to have a keyring made containing the photo that can then be strapped onto your bouquet with ribbon, or perhaps you would rather wear a beautiful locket with a treasured photo inside. You can also incorporate a special item received from your lost parent (or another lost loved one you wish was there for your special day) by wearing or somehow including a special item that you received from that person. At Christmas and other religious celebrations, many families have traditions they follow year in, year out. Think about the person that you have lost and what they loved most about that holiday or celebration. If you feel up to it, place a favourite family photo that includes them in pride of place and carry out their favourite tradition in their honour. Talk about the good times – that Christmas where mum had spent hours cooking then dad dropped the Christmas ham but somehow managed to save the day, or the way your loved one used to laugh so hard at the awful Christmas cracker jokes every single year, or how every year when you were children your mum would tuck you into bed on Christmas Eve and tell you your favourite story before warning you that Santa doesn’t visit unless children are fast asleep! Perhaps you have lost your spouse and your wedding anniversary is coming up. It can be incredibly … Read More
BEUTEL, Leslie
Beutel, Leslie Known as “Les” Late of Mundubbera. Passed away on Sunday, 3 October 2021, aged 92 years. Dearly loved Husband of Daphne (dec’d). Loved Father and Father-in-law. Adored Pop to his Grandchildren and Great-Grandchildren. A private funeral service will be held for Les. “Reunited with Daphne”
What can I do with my loved ones ashes?
Losing someone we love is one of the hardest things we will ever go through, and when that happens it’s natural to want to respect their wishes when it comes to their final resting place. Wanting to do the ‘right’ thing is something that can weigh so heavily on your mind. We are here to help! In Australia, many people choose to cremate their loved ones body after they die, and a large percentage of those families wish to scatter their loved ones ashes in a place that was memorable or significant for the person they have lost. While it can be difficult to know what you can and can’t do with your loved ones ashes, the good news is that in Queensland, the rules aren’t overly complicated. The law about scattering human ashes in Queensland – Do you need permission? In Queensland, you generally can scatter the ashes of your love one and hold a small, private ceremony without the need to obtain permits to do so. If the scattering is to take place on private land, then you must have the land owners permission to do so, however if you are the land owner then you are free to do as you wish. For example, if your loved one stated that they wanted their ashes to be scattered on the field at Suncorp Stadium or the cattle property they grew up on that is no longer owned by the family, then you’d need to seek permission from the owner of the land to do so otherwise you risk breaching trespassing laws. You generally do not need permission to scatter ashes on local council or state controlled land. You need to apply for a permit to scatter ashes if the land is: – Privately owned (see previous comments) – Bushland or rainforest that has been designated as a Commonwealth Reserve – Commonwealth marine areas We advise that you always research the area where you are planning to scatter the ashes of your loved one. This can avoid ruining the day with run ins with officials or incurring fines. It’s worth noting that parks run by the Queensland Parks and Wildlife Service do not require a permit for ashes to be scattered, and while you generally can scatter ashes into the ocean, if you’re doing so off a boat then you are required to have the boat owner’s permission to do so. Where do we scatter the ashes? If your loved one hasn’t specified where their ashes should be scattered and you don’t wish to keep them, here are some ideas for where you may wish you consider as locations for your scattering ceremony. It’s wise to put some thought into the chosen location – choose somewhere that had meaning for the loved one you have lost if you are able to do so. If you’re feeling stuck for where to scatter your loved one’s ashes, take a moment to quietly reflect on what they were like and enjoyed. Was … Read More
How to write a sympathy card
Writing a good sympathy card is an experience that is often emotional and challenging. We want to adequately convey our love, support and sympathy, but at the same time we also don’t want to say the wrong thing. We want the person we’re writing the message for to know we are thinking of them and we are sorry for their loss, but we don’t want to upset them more. The truth is that there’s isn’t a perfect way of expressing your condolences to someone who has lost someone they love. No matter how much we want to, nothing we can say will heal their pain or bring their loved one back. We can, however, provide some comfort in letting them know that they are not alone, and that both they and the person they have lost are loved. The aim of a well written condolence message is to convey support, empathy and comfort. Our top tip for writing a good sympathy card is to sit down and take your time. Don’t let the fear of saying the wrong thing cause you to say nothing at all. Knowing someone is there can go a long way to someone feeling seen and supported in a time of grief. Sometimes we need to show people that in darkness, there can be light. Your message just might be that flicker of light that is needed. We suggest that you write your condolence message in first person, and be as specific as you can. Do you have a favourite memory of the person who has passed? Share it! Make sure you say it your way, too. Don’t rely on the message that is already printed inside the card – it’s the words that come from you that count the most. The following are some examples of condolence messages for different situations. Feel free to use these and change them accordingly if you so wish, or to draw inspiration from them to come up with your own. General sympathy note wording Dear (name), I’m so sorry for your loss. I don’t know exactly what to say, but I want you to know that my thoughts are with you and I wish you comfort and peace. Wishing you strength and comfort through this difficult time. Please accept my warmest condolences. I’m truly sorry for your loss. Please know that I am here for you during this time (however please do not say this unless you genuinely mean it, or better yet, make a direct offer of practical help) Words fail to express my deep sorrow for your loss. Words can’t express how much (name of deceased) has meant to me over the years. He/she always brought so much light to the lives of those around him/her and he/she will be truly missed. I know how much (Name) meant to you, and I can’t imagine what this loss feels like. Loss of a mother There are so few words that can truly offer comfort when we lose the … Read More
A guide to funeral etiquette
Attending a funeral can be an overwhelming experience, especially if you’ve never attended one before. In this blog post we’ll give you the lowdown on what to expect and what is and is not appropriate when it comes to funerals in Australia. While generally speaking, modern society is less formal these days, there are times in life when formality is still required. Generally speaking, funerals are one of the occasions. What to wear In Australia, funerals are generally sombre events, and as such it is usually appropriate to wear conservative clothing in dark or muted colours. While both our culture and events such as funeral are often a bit more relaxed nowadays than in past decades, this means it is easier than ever to show up wearing the wrong thing. How you dress at a funeral reflects the level of respect you are showing to the grieving family and the deceased person, so unless the family has requested those in attendance dress in a particular way, we suggest keeping it smart, neutral and simple. For men, a suit in a dark colour – black, navy or grey – with a clean, ironed shirt and decent shoes are a safe bet. We’d also suggest wearing a dark tie. If you find when you arrive that things are a little more relaxed, then you can always lose the tie and jacket, but you’ll still come across as appropriate and respectful. What not to wear to a funeral for men: Baseball caps Tracksuits Thongs Running shoes Appropriate funeral attire for women can be a bit more of a minefield, simply because women tend to have more choices for the types and styles of clothes available to them. Unless the family have requested otherwise, keep the colour of your chosen outfit neutral. A suit, a simple dress or pants or a skirt with a formal top are all suitable choices. What not to wear to a funeral for women: Anything with a low neckline Short shorts or short skirt/dresses – keep it below mid-thigh length Loud, statement jewellery For both – avoid bright colours unless it has been specifically requested by the family. What should I do when I hear someone has died? If you want to reach out to the family of the deceased person, then go for it. However, it pays to be mindful of how you go about doing so. Remember that this is a deeply traumatic time in their lives, so rather than knocking on the door or calling them, it is less invasive to send a flowers or a card and let them know that your thoughts are with them. Only write on the card that you are there to help with whatever they need in the following weeks and months unless you are truly prepared to follow through on this offer. Where are funerals held? Where the funeral is held will vary depending on the wishes of the family and the final wishes of the person who has … Read More
What is the Death Positive Movement?
Have you ever heard of the Death Positive Movement? If not, you’re definitely not alone. You might be sat here reading this and scratching your head about what on earth we’re on about, so in this blog post we’ll explain to you what the death positive movement all about and why it could be helpful. So what’s it about? The death positive movement is based on the belief that by not talking about dying and death openly, we are doing our society more harm than good. And let’s face it – death isn’t a topic that usually randomly pops up in day to day conversation, is it? In contrast, people don’t like to talk about death. We all die, but to talk about that and face up to the truth of the matter is deeply uncomfortable for most people, so we keep it behind closed doors, we stuff our fear of death into a deep, dark box and hide it away, never to be discussed willingly again. What do you think about death? When you think of the word death, what words, thoughts and feelings come up? Many people say fear, macabre, cancer, pain, grief… you get the picture. Whatever came up for you, I’m willing to bet that there were little or no comfortable associations. The death positive movement’s purpose is to help to change this. It encourages to talk freely and openly about death, to recognise that talking about death is healthy and even normal, and to lift the taboos around discussing death. According to UrnsOnline.com, “This might include frank discussions about the process of dying, what happens to bodies after death, death rituals and traditions, and options for burial, funerals, and body disposition.” What’s the point of death positivity? Talking openly, with honesty and thought about death, we can help to reduce or even eliminate the fear around death and dying. This, in turn, helps us to make truly informed and satisfying choices around the end of life. It doesn’t just have to be about talking, either. The Death Positive movement encourages us to explore the emotions and fears attached to death through discussion, yes, but also through movement, art, innovation and deliberate learning. Despite what society tells us, it’s not morbid to talk and think about death. We all die one day, none of us are immortal (however if you have unlocked the secret to this, then send it our way! 😉) and it is natural and human to be curious about dying and death. It’s not something we should be hiding away, but rather we should be embracing and satisfying that curiosity, so when the time comes you feel empowered in your own choices either for your own end of life of that of someone you love. What role can funeral directors play in the Death Positive Movement? Funeral directors and funeral homes like us have a role to play in this shifting of attitudes, too. Focussing on family centred funerals, allowing for open and … Read More
WAGNER, Leonard Morton
WAGNER, Leonard Morton Known as “Len” Late of Illoura Village, Chinchilla, formerly of “Seewun” Mt Perry. Passed away peacefully on Friday, 27 August 2021, aged 90 years. Treasured Husband of Maggie (dec’d). Much loved Father and Father-in-law of Pam and Les Turner, Mye-Ann and Barry Slack, Morton and Sue Wagner, Beth and Bruce Head, Joy and Alan Gath and their families. Relatives and Friends are warmly invited to attend a Celebration of Len’s life to be held at “Seewun”, Mt Perry on Monday, 13 September 2021 commencing at 10am, followed by interment at the Mt Perry Monumental Cemetery. For those attending the service at “Seewun”, it would be advisable to bring your own chair. COVID-19 restrictions apply. Hand sanitising and social distancing are essential.
PFINGST, Guy Joseph
Late of Biggenden. Passed away peacefully on Wednesday, 18th August 2021, aged 54 years. Much loved Dad of Lilli. Cherished Son of Len and Elaine. Much loved Brother and Brother-in-law of William and Susann, Jayne and Brian. Loving Uncle of Lena and Amy. Relatives and friends are respectfully invited to attend a Graveside funeral service to celebrate Guy’s life, to be held at the Dallarnil Lawn Cemetery on Friday, 27th August 2021, commencing at 12.30 pm. COVID-19 restrictions apply. Hand sanitizing and social distancing are essential. If you have come from one of the LGAs, it is essential that a face mask is worn at all times. The funeral service will be live streamed. If you wish to participate in the live stream, please email: admin@jenlesley.com.au
BLUNDELL, VERA JANE
BLUNDELL, Vera Jane (nee Cowburn/Boase) Known as “Mum”, “Aunty Vera”, “VJ”, “Miss Vera”, “Mrs B” Late of Eidsvold. Taken into God’s care on Tuesday, 10th August 2021, aged 88 years. Much loved Wife of Fred Boase and Percy Blundell. Loving Mother, Mother-in-law, Step-Mother of Bruce, Dale, Sharalle, Lynelle, Wesley (Boase), Melissa (dec’d) and Families. Peter, Marilyn, Roslyn, Juliette, David (dec’d) and Families. Daughter of John (dec’d) and Milly (dec’d) Cowburn (Hollywell). Adored Grandma, Great-Grandma and Great-Great-Grandma of 32 grandchildren of the blended Boase and Blundell Families. Sister of Edna Singh, Leonard (dec’d), Clifford (dec’d), Robert (dec’d) and Pamela Goddard (dec’d). Loved Aunty Vera and special friend of many who loved her. Relatives and friends are respectfully invited to attend a celebration of Vera’s life to be held at St Mark’s Anglican Church, 66 Moreton Street, Eidsvold on Saturday, 21st August 2021, commencing at 2 pm, followed by interment at the Eidsvold Monumental (old) Cemetery. “Loved to the moon and back forever” In lieu of flowers, donations to the Eidsvold Hospital, Eidsvold Kindergarten or the Eidsvold Lions Club. Envelopes available at the service. COVID-19 restrictions apply. Hand sanitizing and social distancing are essential. If you have come from one of the LGAs, it is essential that a face mask is worn at all times. The funeral service will be live streamed. If you wish to participate in the live stream, please email: admin@jenlesley.com.au
SIMPSON, EDWARD ARNOLD
Known as “Arnold”. Late of Gayndah, formerly of Narangba. Passed away peacefully on Sunday, 8th August 2021, aged 79 years. Adored Husband of Dibby. Much loved Father and Father-in-law of Kerry, Arnold and Natasha, Niome. Cherished Grandad of Tanahya, Caleb, Lucas, Micah, Lahni, Matilda, Noah, Elijah and Isaac. Special Uncle of Kevin, Monaghan, Delaney, Porter and Turner families. Relatives and friends are respectfully invited to attend a celebration of Arnold’s life to be held at the Gayndah Lawn Cemetery on Friday, 20th August 2021, commencing at 11 am. COVID-19 restrictions apply. Hand sanitising and social distancing are essential. If you have come from one of the LGAs, it is essential that a face mask is worn at all times. The funeral service will be live streamed. If you wish to participate in the live stream, please email: admin@jenlesley.com.au